Exploring The Universe
by Silentriver88
Summary: Ari and Dante begin to explore uncharted territory in their new relationship. Might become Rated M in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Thursday**

"So my parents are going out of town."

I look up from the book of poems Dante gave me to read. Dante was still engrossed in his sketch pad, carefully adding the finishing details to his drawing. The last bit of today's sunlight slipped through his window, casting some light on his flawless face. It reminded me of the first time he brought me into his room and how I couldn't stop staring at him as he read to me. Even now Dante's face shined as beautiful as ever.

I sat up setting the book aside and glanced at his mirror. My appearance wasn't that great today, with my hair tied back in a messy array. I had just finished working out before Dante asked me to come over. Dante on the other hand looked perfect sitting with his legs crossed on his big chair. He wore a white shirt and pajama pants. And of course barefoot as always. He's been stuck home for the last three days since he caught a cold. His mom swears it's from all the swimming he does. I doubt anything could keep Dante from swimming. Literally. Nothing. It was a way of life for him.

He looked at me puzzled, kinda smiling. "What are you staring at?"

I smiled back. "Can't a guy smile?"

I knew I wasn't getting off that easily. It's been two months since that night at the desert. The night I realized and told Dante the truth. A truth I buried deep inside of me for so long. The night I set myself free. It was the best feeling in the world. To let all my fears go and hold Dante's hand. To look into his bright eyes. Feeling the spark between our lips. Since then, its been three months of spending time together. Reading, swimming, long talks, holding hands, driving around El Paso, all those nights looking up at the stars out in the desert. Nothing but adventures with Dante. And yes. Kissing. Plenty of it.

Dante laughed at my typical Ari response. "My parents are going out of town for the weekend."

"Where they going?"

"My dad has a college lecture he's giving up in California. Plus my mom has family there and she wanted to see them."

"Oh, that's cool."

"Yea. They're leaving tomorrow morning. My mom's worried about leaving me alone. She doesn't believe that my cold went away."

"You know your mom. Always worrying."

"Yea...um. They also gave me a ...talk."

"About what."

"About us being together. Alone in the house."

My quickly felt my cheeks redden at the implications. Did his parents really think we'd do that? Me and Dante haven't even become THAT intimate. The thought honesty scared me. And yet part of me was excited about it. Dante looked a bit embarrassed as well. He looked at me, waiting for me to respond.

"Well, I um guess it natural for them to think something like that. But we both know that, you know, we've been going uhh.." I sounded so dumb. I've gotten better at talking to Dante over time but this topic was still a problem.

"I know. We've been going slow. I don't wanna do something you aren't ready for."

That made me think. Was Dante really restraining himself for me? Was he ready for more?

Dante closed his sketch pad and walked over to the bed with me. He laid parallel to me with his eyes closed. My eyes scanning over his angel face. I wanted to know what he was thinking. But part of me was scared. Dante wasn't afraid of being vocal about his body and us being intimate. I still felt uncomfortable about it and the thought of sex made me feel inadequate. I didn't want to feel that way. Not anymore. Dante made me feel so many good things. I want to be able to express myself fully when the time came.

I laid back down beside him.

He remained silent. I opened my mouth yet the words wouldn't flow. So I did the next best thing. I leaned my face closer and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. That made him smile.

He was staring at me now, almost like he was trying to convey a message through his gaze. I just kept staring back, feeling more and more lost in our own universe. A universe where the stars seemed so bright. A universe we wanted to explore together.

"So that's it? Your parents basically gave you a talk about... sex?"

"Well specifically my mom. My dad didn't really partake too much in the conversation. She mostly went on that we should be careful and it's ok to feel urges."

My heart kept beating louder. I'd lie if I said I didn't have urges for Dante, yet too scared to act upon them.

"To be careful? It's not like one of us can get pregnant." That made us laugh.

"And...," I continued. "I've never been with anyone else before you so there's no cha- "

Dante suddenly jumped on me, causing me to fall back with him on top. His lips silenced me which was more than okay by me. Just like that, we were in our own world. All that mattered was us. I let one hand slip through his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss while another rested on his waist. All I could feel was his warm lips and his hands running down my chest. It almost hurt when he broke the spell.

"Oh Ari." His eyes shined like stars. "I've never been with anyone either. You're the closest I have ever been with."

My cheeks felt hot again. "Really? I thought maybe you...experimented while you were in Chicago.." Part of me truly thought that. That perhaps Dante may have done more things than I have.

"Well I did experiment but only to a certain limit. As far as intimacy goes, I've only tried kissing, nothing more."

"Oh." My breathing became steady after he said that. I was a bit relieved. I couldn't blame him for wanting to experiment. Unlike me, he was comfortable with his body. But it made me feel better that he was at the same level as me. "I've only kissed one girl before you. It didn't really mean anything to me."

I'm not sure why I mentioned that. Part of me felt like I had to confess that. He simply brought his head lower to mine. His forehead against mine. "How was it?" He whispered.

"Wh-what?" Shivers went down my body. He smirked, almost knowing the effect he had on me.

He repeated himself. "How was the kiss with the other person?" His eyes still set on mine. Looking at him from above made me feel so weak yet so strong. His flawless features. His smooth lips. He was perfect.

"It was okay. It's nothing compared to kissing you though. You're perfect Dante."

That made him blush. "Not as perfect as you Ari." Eagerly, I brought his head down, anticipating the spark of his lips. I could feel him smiling through the kiss. Maybe it was me who couldn't stop smiling. It didn't matter. We were pleased to be enjoying yet another secret of the universe together. Kissing.

* * *

Author Note: Let's see how the rest of the weekend goes in the next few chapters ;D


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Friday**

The air felt damp from last night's rainfall. Sweat continued to trail down my face, yet my pace remained the same. I loved doing these runs with Legs. I continued to do them almost every day out of habit. Plus Legs would bark at me if we didn't.

It's funny to think why I even started workout so much last summer. It was like a weight being lifted off each time I'd run or hit the weights in the basement. We all fight our own secret wars. It was true. My secret war was tearing me apart. All cause I was afraid. Afraid of disappointing. Afraid of loving Dante. It all seems silly now.

I came around my block after running laps around my neighborhood. It was now 3:30. My plan today was to drop off Legs, shower, and get ready to go to Dante's house. It was a simple plan, and yet I found myself growing nervous the more I thought about it. Probably cause I was taking Dante to dinner tonight. "So a date?" He said last night, kinda smirking. Dating wasn't used in my vocabulary much. Now I've grown fond of the word. Dating. Dating. Dating Dante.

I mean, we've both gone out to places before. However, when we did, it was our usual hangouts. Pretty low key places. A downside to our relationship is having to deal with those who disapproved. Those who gave us uneasy looks. Dante hated the looks. I just didn't really care. I've never given a fuck of what others thought of me. They certainly weren't going to make me feel lousy now.

But tonight was different. This time it felt like a more official date since we were going to Los Rancheros. Dante has been dying to go there since it's a popular Mexican restaurant people rave about. He could argue about the culture and insist how Mexicans don't like him but he sure loved the food.

Once I got inside my house, I noticed my mother smiling at me from the kitchen table as she worked on her lesson plan.

"There you are," she said in her sweet voice. "Figured you were out with Legs."

"Yea, she sure loves our runs together. I'm gonna go get ready. Dante and I are hanging out tonight." I let Legs off her leash and poured her some water.

"Oh okay. Dante's parents called saying they reached Sacramento already."

'That's good."

"So you and Dante gonna hangout at his house?"

"Nah. We're going out to eat and then go stargazing at our usual spot."

"That sounds nice," she said glancing at me. "Well, I know you two are responsible boys."

"We are quite the boy scouts," I replied while pouring myself some water.

"You know what I mean Ari." I didn't have to look at her to know she was making the face.

"Oh wait, I quit the boy scouts."

"That was a different time Ari. You've grown to be quite a responsible young man. "

"I don't know Mom. I've drunk beer, gotten into fights, done stuff behind you and dad's back. Doesn't sound like I'm responsible."

"That's different too." She stood up from her chair to comb her fingers through my hair. "Eres lo mejor hijo."

I smiled back at her. "I don't feel like it."

"But you are. And what I meant by responsible was that I know I can trust you and Dante to make good decisions."

"Good decisions?"

"I know you're going to be spending time with him alone at his house so all I'm saying-"

"Mom please. We aren't doing anything of that sort." I loved my mom. But this was one conversation I did not want to have. "You don't have to worry about us." I took a big gulp of water. I really wanted to escape the kitchen now. First Dante drops a bomb on me. Now my mother?

"Okay. I believe you. Just know that you can talk to me, Ari. I remember what it was like to be young."

"Yeah well. You don't have to worry. The last thing I need is this talk. Dad beat you do it years ago."

"Fair enough. Just know that I'm here hijo."

"Will do."

"And Ari?"

I stopped midway up the stairs. "Yes?"

"I'll never stop worrying about you and Dante." There was that smile again. I wondered at that moment if her smile will always look so beautiful. "It's just part of being a parent."

And just like that we smiled and parted ways. I headed upstairs to shower and prepare myself for the evening.

It didn't take long for me to arrive at Dante's house. He was sitting on his porch staring at his feet when I pulled up. I wonder if he was debating to go on the date shoeless. Knowing him he'd come up with a justifiable reason to not wear shoes tonight. It's unnatural for our feet to be enclosed like that. Shoes are prisons Ari. I can only imagine all of his excuses to hate shoes. As he walked towards my truck, I decided to go around to open the car door for him.

"Woah. How romantic of you," he said smiling, lifting a brow.

"Well this is a date, is it not?" I smiled back, taking in his appearance. He dressed nicely for the occasion. His hair was its usual self and he smelled incredible. It was his usual smell but much more enhanced. I felt myself heat up as I got in the driver's seat.

Dante leaned over to me to give a kiss on the cheek and put his lips to my ear. "You look pretty handsome."

It was a simple compliment. The effect it had on me was not simple. His voice felt different. Like he was craving for something. "Handsome enough to be an artist model?" I said trying to hide my blush.

"Way more handsome. If so top of the line model."

"Please. I wouldn't go that far." I felt myself getting lost in his gaze.

"You look pretty handsome yourself." I gave him a side look as I started the truck. "I wonder how long those are staying on," I gestured to his shoes.

"I don't know. We'll see."

We laughed as I drove off to our dinner plans.

* * *

"Damn. That had to be the BEST pollo a la plancha I've ever had."

"I can't believe you had room after eating all those enchiladas," I replied back.

"Hey! I was hungry."

"Yes. You were."

It was a pretty enjoyable night. We laughed and ate like we were in our own little world. He suddenly held my hand as we walked back to the truck.

"It's alright. We're by ourselves out here." He must have sensed my hesitation. My fingers gently caressed his hand, something I've been fond of doing. When we reached the side of my truck, I pulled his head toward me and kissed him. A kiss I've been patiently waiting to give.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what Ari?"

"I like holding your hand, you know. All I want to do is hold your hand now. But I get scared Dante. Of us being seen. Scared that something will happen to you. But...I don't want to be afraid. I'm not letting others around us ruin this."

I finally look up to see his shocked expression. "So you've been worried that something will happen to me?"

How could I not. Something already did happen to him. And I wasn't even there to help. His warm hands found my face, keeping me from looking down. "Ari Ari Ari," he said whispering. "I don't want you to worry about stuff like that. Plus, maybe I worry about you too."

"You don't have to worry about me. I'll beat the living shit out of anyone that messes with me. Especially if they mess with you."

I must have sounded like a crazy person and yet Dante just laughed.

"I don't doubt that. But let's not talk about this right now. I just to enjoy the end of this amazing night."

"Oh it's not over yet." Just like that, I started the truck and headed toward our next destination. It wasn't long for us to reach our usual spot in the desert. When I parked the truck, I noticed the time. 8:45.

I turned to the back of my seat to pull out a small cooler with wine and glasses along with a thick blanket I had tucked away. Dante no longer confused about my actions held the cooler as I spread out the blanket on the bed of the truck.

The desert breeze hit us as we laid side by side. I knew Dante preferred wine over beer. Plus it just seemed classier than beer. We quickly went through half the bottle. It wasn't long till I felt its warmth within me. My eyes were set on the dark sky as I felt his fingers trace my hand.

"Do you ever think we'll get tired of the stars Dante?"

"No chance. They're too important to us. They teach us things."

"Just like birds?' I smiled at the memory.

"Yea, just like birds. Stars teach us about the universe. Hell, we're made from the stars. Every element on Earth came from the stars. So we're a part of them."

It was true. Our basic elements came from stardust. I never thought about the stars like that. I've spent my whole life feeling so small and out of place when I saw the stars. They seemed too special. Even for me to look at. It wasn't until Dante that I felt that I mattered in this vast universe. We're made from the stars. It sounded like something straight from a poem. Everything Dante said sounded poetic.

Just as the silence of the desert set in, thunder and rain quickly reigned the sky. We let some of the rain hit us, but the rain strengthened enough for us to grab our belongings and wait out the storm inside the truck.

We sat in my truck as we listened to the radio and the beat of the rain. I found myself leaning my back onto Dante's chest as he told me stories from Chicago. He told me everything. Things about the school he went, the people around him, the weather in the mornings, the strange libraries, every little detail. We lost track of time as the rain continued.

"Can I tell you a secret Ari?"

My eyes were set on my blurry windshield. My body felt completely relaxed as I felt his breath against my neck. "Of course."

"Every night, I went to bed thinking about you. About how it would feel to kiss you. How it would feel to be this close to you. How your touch would feel against my skin. I'd fall asleep thinking about all of that."

Oh his honesty. He revealed all that so confidently. I found myself thinking about that infamous letter. If he could be confident about this, damnit so could I.

"Wow. Maybe that's why you got into masturbation." He shoved me forward.

"You asshole," he laughed. "You're making me feel like I'm weird for masturbating."

"You're not. I'm just teasing."

"You never answered my question by the way."

"Which one?" I was playing stupid. I knew exactly which question he was talking about. The one that haunted me for months.

"Nevermind. I guess it's a very personal question. I was wrong to put you on the sp-"

"Yes."

He turned to stare at me.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes Dante. I ...masturbate too. I use to fight the urge for the longest. I guess it just made me feel uncomfortable but," I released a breath I had held in. "I started to when I had more dreams about... you."

It was quite a sight to see Dante look speechless. It was a rare phenomenon to see him stumble with words. He was always so organized and eloquent when he spoke. I couldn't help but to chuckle.

"W-would you really dream about me?"

"Of course. Almost every night. At first, the dreams were mostly about looking for you. I'd feel so lost and just look for you. But then the dreams started to change. I kept dreaming that I was kissing someone. Someone that didn't have a face at first."

His eyes were set on mine. Hanging off of every word that slipped out. _Don't be afraid. Keep going._

"I realized that it was you Dante. The whole time. I was dreaming about kissing you. And after time the dreams continued to develop more."

All I could feel was a trembling sensation in my core. I almost wanted to run out into the rain just to keep myself from melting. But maybe Dante read my mind. He quickly latched onto my shoulders and crashed his lips onto mine.

I let myself fall into the kiss, letting it wash away any fear that remained. It brought on a new sensation. Almost like a warm yet cooling wave that engulfed me head to toe. The feeling reminded me of raindrops falling on my skin after a hot day. I wrapped my arms around his waist to pull him closer. _Closer._

I listened to my thoughts and latched on to him tighter as I dragged him over my figure. Our lips refused to part as he laid over me, straddling over my hip. I caught myself groan when he pulled away, only to go down my collarbone. The feeling made me shiver and arch my back against the seat.

"Ah Dante..." I grasp his shoulder to keep myself from shaking.

"Yes Ari?" he mumbled against my skin. "You want me to keep going?"

The answer came out without any second guessing. I decided at that moment that I wanted to just listen to my body.

"Keep going."

And he did.

For what seemed like an hour under this desert rain, we laid there exploring each other. Our shirts quickly slipped off during the process. We felt free yet careful. Curious yet hesitant. Dante still on top of me, traced every muscle on my bare chest. Every line, every drip. It felt like he was trying to map something. I simply laid still watching. His chest also bare for me to stare. I've seen him shirtless quite often. And yet now I felt drawn to all the little details I never let myself focus on. Like the sun kissed freckles spread on his shoulders and how lean his arms looked from all his swimming. I didn't want to think about how I looked in comparison. So I began studying the light marks around his rib, gently with my fingertips.

"What are you thinking Ari?" Still tracing out words on my abdomen.

"Your freckles. Even your freckles look perfectly in place. I never noticed them before."

"I'm not perfect Ari. But I also noticed something about you just now."

"Oh?"

"You aren't REMOTELY TICKLISH!" I had to laugh at that. He sounded like a disgruntled child.

"Is that what you've been trying to accomplish? Tickle me?"

"Well no. But the thought came to me and nothing. Your ribs, stomach, sides, nothing!"

"Sorry but I'm not ticklish. You already make me laugh all day without it."

"Everyone has a spot Ari. I'm sure I'll find it one day."

"Sureee one day." With that I kissed his pout away, slowly playing with his lips as I crawled on top of him. I felt his arms around my neck, sinking his fingers into my hair and gently tugging at them. It seemed so easy. How we melted together. Like nothing else mattered. The warmth of our touch. The soft sounds that'd escape his lips. The shivers I felt on my back. A feeling hit me when he pushed his hips against mine. Almost electric. It strained me, even more, causing me to be rougher in my kisses. His groans grew louder as we continued our build up.

Feeling dizzy, I lifted myself up bringing him up with me and placed small kisses on his cheeks. For some reason, I felt as though we've reached our limit. Still holding onto my shoulders, he held me close composing himself

For some reason, I felt a bit mischievous since his previous attempts failed. My hand swiftly traced down to his sides. He didn't seem to detect what I was planning. His eyes were shut as he focused on steadying his breathing.

"It's getting late Dante. Perhaps we should start heading out now that the rain stopped."

Y-yeah we shou—aHHH," his body jerked back as my fingers danced softly around his lower back.

"Hey! NO FAIR!" His laughter filled the car instantly as I continued. It was unfair. I discovered his ticklish spot not too long ago. It was a pretty common area, yet I couldn't help myself. I was addicted to his laugh. Sometimes I wondered what would it be like not to hear his laugh ever again. It would be like taking away the air. The world needed his infectious laugh. At least my world did. His hands quickly stopped my movements.

"I promise you I WILL find your spot sooner or later." He gave me that determined fiery look.

"Sorry, the temptation was too great." I passed him his shirt as I pulled mine back on.

"I will have my vengeance, you'll see."

I lowered my windows to let the summer rain air sweep in. He was still pouting as I started the truck.

"You're not gonna give up on finding my spot huh?'

"Not a chance. This is something I'm set in discovering. You forget how persistent I am," he said with a smirk. When Dante set his mind on something, he sure as hell got it.

"Oh, I'm aware." I held his hand as we drove back onto the main road. He decided to play my U2 tape in my stereo. "Was this a nice night?"

Dante holding onto my hand tighter, "Better than nice." The stars just couldn't compete with that smile.

* * *

Author note: Hello everyone. I want to deeply apologize for coming back into this story so late. I can go on and on about how school, work, and life in general got in the way. However, this was something I didn't just want to leave off. I feel like I carry these two in my heart and want to contniue the story ideas I had for them. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! Be back soon (yes I mean soon) with chapter 3. Feel free as always to review. I love all types of feedback. Thank you.


	3. Chapter 3

Saturday: Heavy Talks and Tamales

"You wanna go swimming today?"

I was laying out on the couch when Dante called. My arms fell sore from outdoor labor. I spent all morning helping my Dad fix stuff around the house. Fixing roof tiles, cleaning gutters, rebuilding the back porch. It was grueling but I promised I lend a hand. Plus it made my dad happy so that was enough for me to participate. It was nice to take a break though.

"I don't know. I still have to help my dad with the patio out back and change the oil. Besides, it's pretty cloudy."

I heard him sigh.

"I know it's been days since you've been to the pool but you can wait another day."

"Okay okay." He still sounded a bit disappointed. But he perked up when I mentioned I was reading the book he gave me.

"Which poet have you been reading?"

"I liked Keats. He gets pretty dark though. I like Merwin." This time he gave me a book full of collections of poems. I guess poetry was growing on me.

"I thought you liked dark and sad?"

"Not so much. Maybe Mexicans aren't that tragic as I thought." I knew that'd make him laugh.

"I like Merwin too. Glad you're enjoying it Ari."

"You have great taste in literature." It was true. If he recommended something to read, I knew it was special for a reason. Everything held a significance. Whether if it was the structure, the imagery, the language. Dante wasn't close to being average. So I know his readings wouldn't disappoint.

"I also have great taste in boyfriends."

I could hear the smile in his voice. Maybe he could also hear me turn red. "I've been your only boyfriend. How would you know?"

"I just know these things Ari. Trust me."

"Alright." I smiled thinking of his certainty." You wanna come over? We can hang out when I'm done with chores."

It wasn't long until he was knocking at my front door. He insisted on walking over. His tennis shoes were loose and unlaced as if he was about to kick them off any moment.

He looked amused the moment he saw me and gestured to my nose.

All I needed was one look at my dumb face in the hallway mirror by the front door. I had a smug from the car engine grease on my nose. How did I even miss seeing it? Better yet how could my parents not notice to say anything. With the little grace I had, I tried to wipe it off.

"Working hard?" He grinned at me with his hands in his pockets.

"You hardly working?" I'll admit Sam's wiseass remarks were rubbing off me. He immediately rolled his eyes. I leaned over to kiss him.

"I've been working... on my personal projects."

"Painting?" I could tell he's proud of his progress.

"You know it." Legs immediately jumped on him before I felt her rush up behind me. Dante almost fell back from the force but he looked thrilled to see her as usual. They had to have a moment every time as if they barely saw each other.

"I'm almost done out back with my dad. If you want you can wait in my room or come out with us."

Right at that moment, I heard my mother walkout to us. Dante instantly gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You've been away for a while Dante," she said. I watched as they interacted. They can easily talk for hours.

"Sorry, didn't mean to be a stranger. I got pretty sick last week. My mom didn't let me out of her sight."

"It's a mother thing. We worry so much. You better get used to having two mothers worrying about you now."

They kept talking for a bit until my dad came back inside. "Ah Dante. Finally came over," he said smiling. "Did you hear from your parents today?"

"Yeah, they called me earlier. My dad apparently did really well in the seminar. He loves showing off his research with a bunch of other smarties."

"Your father does amazing work," my mother said. I could hear the admiration. They truly loved Dante's parents. Hell they've been hangout almost every weekend for the past few months. It was a great sight. Seeing them joke around while Dante and I joked about them. Seeing my parents in this new light felt great. Almost cathartic.

"Well," my dad started. "Ari and I were finishing up in the backyard. Redoing the whole patio."

"Mind if I lend a hand?" Dante wasn't wild about work in general. But he never seemed to mind helping around if the opportunity presented itself here. My dad gave him a pat on his back.

"The more the better."

Just like that, we spend the afternoon helping my dad lay down the new deck floor. I watched as my dad taught Dante how to nail down the wood in place and such. He was a fast learner. If you asked me a year ago that my father would be laughing and having casual conservations around the house, I would have given a sarcastic remark without a second thought. I thought my father only thought me how to keep secrets. I watched as he laughed proudly as we applied the wood finish while Dante kept making jokes. My dad was teaching me how to have new beginnings. A life without hiding in the dark.

Dante bumped my shoulders, noticing that I spaced out. "Sorry, lost in thoughts."

"As usual," he said with a matter of fact tone.

"You space out all the time too."

"Yeah, when I'm painting. That means I'm focusing." There wasn't a point in arguing. I rolled my eyes. "You have a response for everything."

He simply smiled at me as we continued to work.

After everything was set and done, we sat around the yard as my father drank a beer and Dante and I had lemonade that my mother made. The storm that was announced finally started to pour. Dante and I washed up and hung out in my room as the rain progressed.

He tossed himself onto my bed as I changed out of my shirt.

"It was nice hanging out with your dad. He seems different."

"Good different?" I asked.

"Yeah, good different," he said keeping his eyes on me.

I decided to throw the shirt I was wearing at his head while he looked off guard. I chuckled at his expression. "You were staring."

"So, I can't stare at my boyfriend now?" He threw the shirt back at me while smirking.

"I didn't say you couldn't," I replied back, slipping on a clean shirt. "Besides I like staring at you too."

I went to sit alongside him and held his hand. He looked deep in thought as he played with my loosened hair. So much for not spacing out. Besides, who was I to criticize him for staring when I spend most of my time memorizing him. I thought about the time he left El Paso for a school year. How I spend that time lying in bed picturing him and imagining his voice.

I caught him eyeing my end table full of papers, brochures, notepads and his book of poems. It was mostly all college paperwork.

"That's my "future" sitting on that table." My apathetic tone expressed more than me.

Dante laughed. "Your parents grinding you about college too huh?"

"Not so much my dad. He doesn't really bring it up like my mother does. She keeps telling me how I should take advantage of college now and about all the wonderful things it did for her."

There was a brief silence between us. I realized we never really talked about college together until now.

He turned to me with an elbow propping him up. "Do you know where you're going?"

 _Where are you_ going. That was a good question. And yet I haven't been able to answer it myself. "Honestly I don't know. The go-to place seems like UT or El Paso Community College. Those are the applications I have."

"Yeah...I have those too. My dad said he'd be thrilled to see me around the UT campus and how funny it would be to see me in one of his classes." The thought of seeing Dante being his subversive self with his father in a classroom seemed humorous to me. "I mean what's that gonna be like? Having him as a teacher. He's already a teacher at home with me. He probably wouldn't even cut me some slack if I took one of his classes. Plus why would I even take any literature classes!"

"But you take literature very seriously Dante."

"I learn enough literature at home Ari. Seems like a waste to have it with him in college."

"So you're also thinking of UT?' My heart eased thinking we'd still be together in the same college. Ever since senior year started, my first thought was if Dante and I would go to the same place. He seemed like the kind of guy that'd shoot for a higher caliber school. Schools in New York, California, Massachusetts. He did mention how he loved the college in Chicago before. He could easily get into those schools. His grades were almost impeccable and his brilliance always stood out. And yet the thought of him leaving me again stung me like a bolt to the chest.

Dante stared at my ceiling as if he could look past its surface into the dark sky. "I don't know if I'm ready to leave home Ari. The thought of not being here hurts." His brows pulled down as he spoke. I was worried he'd start crying. It always hurt to see him like that.

"Maybe, later on, I can transfer to somewhere else. Maybe an art school perhaps."

The shaking feeling inside came back. _I'll go with you_. The thought kept resonating in my head.

"What are you thinking Ari?" His head was turned towards me. I felt my arm starting to go numb from my position on the bed. I laid completely out facing down on my bed.

"You belong in every school Dante. Every school you could want. I'd support any decision you'd make, you know that. I … never had a dream school. I guess I never dreamed hard enough about my future. I'm still figuring out what I'd even major in." My face kept burning as I spoke of my uncertainties. "I would go to wherever you'd go Dante. At least I'll try my best. That is if you want me to go with you."

I kept my eyes looking down at the little details of my comforter, fearing my eyes would show any tears.

"I don't know where we're going Dante. The future is unpredictable. Inscrutable even. I just know that I love you and I'd be pretty fucking sad if you weren't around. But I don't wanna stop you from -'"

I wonder how often he would silence my babbling with his lips. It was pretty effective though. The kiss made my manic thoughts find a peaceful place to settle. I relaxed, kissing him back with my hand resting on his hip. The sound of rain came back into my room, maybe even harder than before it started. Maybe the rain was trying to cleanse the polluting doubts that have plagued me for days.

He rolled completely over me, still prolonging the kiss. He then paused and looked down at me, "Do you know how many nights I've thought about this Ari?"

"Being on top of me on my bed?" We both blushed and laughed.

"Well, besides that. You know what I mean."

"I know Dante."

"I don't know where I'm going either Ari, but I know I don't want to leave your side. You are home to me. I was scared to bring it up cause it felt too soon since it's only been a few months but..." He stopped feeling lost with words.

So, we were on the same page. We were lost to where we'd go. And yet we couldn't bear parting again. I just kept grinning, content that I wasn't the only one feeling like that.

"I want to still be here Ari. I want to be here in Texas. In El Paso. I want to have you by my side."

Everything felt strange and yet I felt comfortable with it. I had Dante and he had me. Still hovering over me, he laid his head over my heart, playing with the little hairs along my jawline. I kept trying to look past my boring cream-colored ceiling to glance at the sky as it turned into night. Dreaming seemed soley based on sheer possibilities. And yet I found myself dreaming more than I ever had. I held him tightly over me. _We'll figure it out together._

"There's a poem that made me think of you." That brought his attention back.

"Yeah?"

I turn myself over to my bedside table where the book of poems sat bookmarked. I found the page and handed it to him. He shook his head teasingly, sitting back up.

"Read it to me."

I much preferred hearing Dante reading poems. His voice was made for poetry while mine would just butcher its melody. But I cleared my throat to recite it as best as I could.

"Your absence has gone through me, like a thread through a needle, everything I do is stitched with its color."

"Merwin?"

"Yeah. I remembered reading it in school awhile back but it didn't have meaning to me." I shrugged still staring at the words. "It has more meaning now."

He leaned forward to bump our foreheads together as his eyes looked down elsewhere.

"Even while you were gone..." I almost leaned forward to close the gap. "You left something inside me. Something I never felt before."

I didn't feel crazy admitting it. Dante had a hold on me. On my heart. And so I wrapped myself around his shoulders, hugging him tightly. I waited for him to say something. But he let his hands do the talking. He rubbed my back in a soothing methodical manner, I could have fallen asleep easily like this. With my face buried in his neck and hair. Suddenly, I flinched when his fingers slipped under my shirt.

"Sorry, are my hands cold?"

"A little. But it fine. Keep going."

He listened, continuing his hand movements on my skin.

The sound of the rain beating against my window. The sound of distant thunder echoing through the walls. The sound of Dante's breathing so close to me.

"I was losing my mind in Chicago without you..."

I steadied myself letting my hands also slip underneath his shirt, tracing his lower abdomen. I listened to his whispers as my fingers made their way up to his torso. The sudden intakes of air and moans made my hairs stand. Before I knew it, I lifted his shirt over his head swiftly like an effortless brush over a canvas. I pulled him back towards me and took a part of his neck in my mouth.

"Ahh." I felt him gasp, arching his back as I sucked on his neck. I knew I had to be careful or he'd have to explain an embarrassing mark. Lightly my tongue ran in circles until my kisses took over. Dante pulled away, pushing me back from my shoulders. Instantly, awkwardness set in thinking I did something to displease him. But he was far from it by the look in his eyes.

He cupped my blushed face with both hands and whispered, "Take your shirt off."

Even the frenzy of nerves couldn't detain me. My hand grabbed the back of his head to kiss him rougher than usual. "You take it off," I whispered back. There was this urgency in my words. It felt like a fire started in my room. Transmitting its heat into bigger waves each second. But I knew there was no real fire. Only the invisible one between us.

He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it upwards over my head. The sudden rush of cool air made it easier to breathe. My brain almost did a math where clothes were only hurting us in our heated forms. But I knew which part of me was really saying that.

Each kiss more intimate than the last. The sounds of our desperate lips, Dante's moans, and the beating rain combined into a hypnotic symphony. Somehow, Dante managed to drag me over him, letting our bare chests unite. It was easy letting go of dubious thoughts with him. Even now, letting myself fall more and more into a weightless realm. His fingers drawing along my spine, moving down to my waistline. His sounds kept distorting time around us.

Our lips fiercely danced as his hip collided with mine. It had a rippling effect making me unlatch from his lips. We remained over each other, just taking in our breathless appearance. Slowly time and space came back.

Then, like a sudden force hitting my head, I was brought back to reality. We weren't alone in the house. Whenever we decided to have time like this, we made sure we were completely alone. Usually in his room.

"My parents are downstairs." It was a pragmatic yet buzzkill thing to say. But it was true.

"Your parents are downstairs," he repeated as he stole one more kiss before sitting up. We quickly got dressed again as if my parents would appear any moment.

I could already hear my mother's sex talk in my head. I wasn't going through that again.

He smirked at me as he straightened his pants. "Are we turning into bad boys?"

I chuckled a bit. If this made me a bad boy, sue me. "Why would us being together make us bad boys?"

"Not that per se. Let's go through the checklist." He plopped back down on my bed. " We've drunk alcohol. Smoked pot. We've dabbled into our hormonal urges."

That was one way of calling it. I simply shrugged. "At least we're not in a gang."

"Our parents would be so proud."

Before we knew it, we heard my mother call us downstairs.

"I hope you don't mind Dante but we made tamales for dinner. And yes Ari, in the oven."

She said it before I even asked. "Tamales in the oven are the best though."

"That sounds great Mrs. Mendoza," he said excitingly. "Ari tells me you make them the best. However, I'm forced to side with my mother's recipe on the fact she's my mother."

"Smart boy."

"Though I greatly appreciate Mexican food. My parents don't make it as often as you'd think." He helped my mother set the table as I pulled out the large tray for the tamales.

I turn to him looking amused. "I don't think I've seen someone eat menudo and tortillas as quick as you do."

"Did someone say menudo?" My father asked as he walked back inside with a toolbox he left outside. "I'm starving."

'"Tamales. Oven cooked." Dante corrected.

"Ari's favorite. You know that when Ari was five, he refused to eat anything that wasn't his mother's tamales. He even made up a song about it."

"A song?" Dante lost it along with my dad recollecting the memory. Even I cringed at my embarrassing young self. "You have to tell me how it went," he said eagerly.

As I walked out to checkup on Legs, I couldn't help but feel like this was a distant dream I've had. My parents laughing along with Dante. All together in my house. I'm sure in the dream Bernardo was in it too. But this was pretty close. The feeling felt just right. Like unpleasantness didn't have room to come in between.

My dad turned to face me. "If only I can remember how that song went..."

"Let's not." I quickly chimed in as I sat down next to Dante.

My mother smirked. " _Como me gustan-"_ Oh god.

"Please mom no!" They all laughed as we dug into the banana leaf masa in delight.


	4. Chapter 4

Author note: Hello everyone. Wow, have I not been consistent. Lots of big changes, but I never gave up thoughts on this. Hope you like it. Decided to add more heat to it. (Runs off to hide in a bush)

"One minute and twenty-two seconds."

"Damn that's no better than my last time. Let me go again."

"It's like you're training for the Olympics Dante."

"No way. I hate wearing swim caps."

"I doubt that'd stop you."

He smiled at me as he held onto the poolside edge. The sun was in its peak rise in the afternoon casting its rays over us. It was no surprise that the pool was full on Sunday, but it didn't seem to matter us. We've been swimming at the pool for three hours now. I was just as excited to go in as him. After racing and swimming laps for the longest, I felt the need to take a break. Dante didn't even look remotely tired as he climbed out to put another layer of sunscreen.

"Just cause I'm the best swimmer in my team doesn't mean I can slack off in practice. Plus there are some matches coming up and I need to be in shape for that."

"Fair enough. I'll come see your matches."

Dante slid his wet hairs back from his forehead and leaned back on his palms, exposing more of his maturing muscles. "What if you work that night?"

"I'll ask if someone can cover for me."

"You did that last time. I don't want you to get fired over me."

"You just don't want to lose your French fry smelling boyfriend."

He almost shoved me back into the pool laughing. "Yes Ari, the aroma of fryer grease really gets me going."

We looked at each other smiling until the sound of a teen lifeguard yelling filled the area as he hit the water. It was the usual guy who spent more time harassing girls than doing his job.

Dante scoffed towards his direction. "Crazy. I'm surprised how they hired such a moron like him to be a lifeguard."

"I'm not. They always hire douchebags to be lifeguards."

"The poor souls that don't know how to swim have to depend on HIM. That's the saddest thing."

"I would have had a sad, pathetic death drowning here if it weren't for you."

The girl who pushed the teen continued to let loss a string of cuss words at him. Most of the people around were laughing at his embarrassment. Dante pressed his shoulder against my own.

"It's a good thing you learned from the best."

I grinned at his confidence. I almost kissed him but he suddenly bolted back into the water causing the splash to soak me again. "Come on, I wanna go one more time—I know I can beat my last time."

My hand found his dad's stopwatch that I laid aside and set it back to zero. "Ready when you are."

He floated by my feet for a bit just looking at me. "Do I get something if make the lap in a minute?"

"Need an incentive now?"

"No, but it might push me to perform better."

"Okay. A kiss."

"What! But I can get those whenever Ari!"

I kicked some water in his face causing him to laugh. "Don't be so sure you arrogant son of a bitch."

And just like that, he took off, gliding into the waters like he was bending each wave under his will. The timer commenced as I watched him try to beat the clock. I'm not sure what caused my eyes to look over, but a group of guys caught my eye as they lingered by the exit gate.

I recognized them instantly.

It was a group that always hung around my neighborhood. I discerned a few from school. Especially the leader. Ian Sanchez. Except he got kicked out last year for God knows what. The guy was bad news in general. But my dislike towards them shifted to a ten as I noticed them shooting grim looks at me. There were exactly five of them. Not so tough looking honestly. All talk no walk. My eyes locked with Ian. I refused to be intimated and gave him my own nasty look. They normally avoid me since most know I'm not one to bother—plus I never stood out to be a target of their pointless harassment. But this time, I knew they wanted to start something. My hands formed fists before I even began calculating, which kinda worried me. But my instincts are usually right about these things.

It wasn't till a splash to the face that my line of angry thoughts got derailed. I brushed it off only to meet Dante's vexed face. I never stopped the timer.

"Shit. I'm sorry."

He rolled his eyes and sat up by me, grabbing one of the towels we brought. He must have noticed how tense I looked and zeroed on what had my attention

"Why are you looking at them?"

"I don't like them."

"I've seen them hanging around my neighborhood. Not a good a crowd."

"Have they messed with you?"

"Nah, I keep away. Why?"

"No, nothing."

"You look like you wanna punch someone."

Guilt prickled my skin as the muscles in my hands twitched in anticipation.

"Is it bad that I feel like some people deserve a punch to the face?"

He looked like he was really mulling it over. "No, I can think of tons of awful people that need one hell of a punch to the face."

"Like who?"

"Racists, homophobes. People that abuse animals.

We stayed quiet for a bit. The sound of yelling and splashing still around us as we swung our feet in the water, occasionally bumping into the other.

"What does it feel like?"

I looked at him.

"I mean, what does it feel like to punch someone else?"

"I don't know. It's kind of a rush of emotions. You just do it. But in the end, you just feel like a boy who couldn't control his feelings."

He seemed perplexed by my answer but nodded as if he understood.

"I think I'm more a guy that punches people with words."

"That sounds more eloquent. And wholesome."

"It sounds like I was raised by an English professor Ari."

We laughed for a bit until we stood up to stretch.

"Maybe we could be the punching duo. You punch with your fists and I'll punch with my words."

It sounded kind of silly but it managed to make me smile at the duo part. "Deal."

"Maybe we should head out," said Dante. "We could go to my place, unless you wanna go home."

"Your place is fine. Let's go."

The pool was already cleared out, leaving until a few teenagers and an elderly swimming class in the water. Dante opened the exit gate, holding it open for me as he tossed his towel over his shoulder. The gate hit closed against the metal railing. But it didn't compare to the shrilling sound of a rock thrown against the gate itself, causing an angry noise to vibrate around us. The impact was inches away from us. I noticed Dante flinch from the occurrence. All I could focus on is the guys only a few feet away from us.

They snickered a bit as Ian mumbled something. The rest of them were on their bikes as Ian tossed another rock in the air only to catch it back. I quickly accessed that I could lunge at him with his guard down. They'd all probably run away once they see me beat their fierce leader. He wore a cocky yet dangerous look.

"So Mendoza, you think you're some tough shit around here?"

"No, but enough to make you regret bothering me." The words were cool and sharp escaping my lips.

He laughed off my threat. "You're just a loner shitless turd."

I heard Dante's voice chime in as I position my stance better.

"Where'd you learn to cuss? That didn't even make sense. Maybe you should go back to school if you can't even do that right."

The lines in Ian's transitioned from cocky to anger the moment Dante's words burned him. I already felt myself rush forward once I saw him ready to shoot the next rock at Dante. I didn't think - just acted. My fist instantly connected with his jaw. He fell back from the impact, tripping over his bike. It wasn't too hard of a punch but enough to get the message out. The rest of the gang looked startled as if they didn't expect a fight. One of them helped lan come back up to his feet. He clutched his jaw tight, looking angrier than ever. They got back onto their bikes to run, muttering a bunch of swears and 'queers' under their breaths.

And with that, they disappeared around the corner. I let go of the air I had holding in for the longest and felt Dante's hand on my shoulder.

"See? The punching duo is already in action." He gave me a smile that seemed both happy yet sad.

"Yup, that's one off our list."

We walked barefoot, not really talking much. Just brushing into each other and watching the sunset beyond the rooftops. We reached his front porch and finally settled down in his cluttered room. Dante dramatically fell face first into his bed with a groan.

He mumbled incoherently into his unmade comforter about his arms feeling sore. He then mumbled, "I need a shower."

I sat down in his large chair in the middle of the room, eyeing a canvas hidden behind a tarp. "Same, could I shower here?"

He rolled over facing me. "Of course, you go first. I need to pick up my room a bit."

"Cleaning up for me now?" I said teasingly, only to get one of his side looks. He tossed me a clean towel and I made my way to his bathroom.

After showering with his soap and shampoo, I felt feel from the chlorine smell and welcomed his scent. When I finished, I studied in the mirror my wet hair falling around my face as I attempted to dry it. Major con about growing my hair: it took longer to dry and comb. After sufficiently managing the hair into a neat assortment in a hair tie, I went back into his room wearing one of his shirts that he lent me.

"How the cleaning going?"

His bed looked clean with his pillows set in an orderly manner at the head base. The floor was free on any clothes, notepads, or stacks of old records. The truth is I've gotten used to Dante's room. Whether if it was depicting the endless nights of his creative endeavors or simply the lack of motivation to be clean, it was still welcoming in my eyes, even as he puts order back into his space.

Now he was rearranging books in his shelves. "Not bad. Just about done."

"Showers all yours."

"Alright, I'll be out momentary and don't you dare look under the tarp," he replied without even looking. I guess he caught my curiosity.

"Now I'm extra tempted," I challenged back with my brow cocked up.

He smirked as he snatched some clean clothes from his drawers. "You know I don't shy away from showing you my work but unfinished work? Out of the question."

"So you'll show me when it's ready?"

"Of course, you'll be the first to see it." And with that, he stole a quick kiss before slipping away into the bathroom.

I felt my back muscles gradually relax against the cushioned seat, taking in the day's events. Well, it could have been worse. My fingers pulsed as I let them ease themselves back to normal. The only reason they felt sore was from how tight I held them in a fist. It shook me to the core. I let out a deep breath, not wanting to feel upset about those assholes. Out of habit, I stood up to retrieve a book to occupy myself for the time being. I've read a couple of Dante's books stacked now neatly on his bookshelf. Most of them were classics or poetry collections. But today a bright looking art book caught my attention laying on his still cluttered desk. I took hold of the book to skim its context.

THUD

Pulling the book out, however, caused Dante's sketchbook tucked underneath to fall out open onto the hardwood floor. I quickly retrieved it and placed it gently back on the desk-that is until the charcoal drawing displayed on the current page held my complete and devoted attention.

I'm not sure if I broke a rule of Dante's. Maybe I wasn't supposing to see this yet or maybe not at all. But I couldn't let go of the textured sketchpad for the life of me. It was a large sketch with more details than I could count, while still giving the main figure all the focus, I wanted to graze my finger over the linework as if I could absorb its beauty and meaning within. _When did he sketch this?_

Before I could set it back down, I noticed a new shadow in the room. My eyes met Dante's frozen stance yet calm expression. He still looked pretty damp from head to toe.

"I... didn't mean to look at this. I swear, I -"

He took a nearby towel to ruffle his hair dry and walked over next to me. "I was gonna show you that one. It's fine."

…...

…...

"It different."

He leaned in a bit closer. "How?"

"It just is. When did you do this?"

"You don't recognize it?'

My eyes scanned over the details. Normally, I remember all the times Dante has drawn me. It always made me feel a prickle under my skin knowing he was just studying my features as if they belonged on his canvas.

It was a simple, yet not so simple, drawing of me.

It was vastly different than any piece he'd done so far. But in the best of ways. In this one, I was sitting in his big chair, leaning over as I wrote in a long notebook. There was a pencil in my hand and my hair was tied up in a bun. I was wearing my Los Lobos shirt. Everything so stunning. The precise line work, the shadows cast by the lighting, the softness in my face, the way my old shirt hanged on my body, the loose strands hanging over my eyes. Never thought I could look so... graceful in drawing.

I wasn't sure how long I was silent for. How long he stood only inches away. Time just felt at a standstill. I didn't know anything except this moment I was having between my brain and his sketch.

"Was this when I was writing the letter?" He looked a bit nervous now as if I accused him of something.

"Yes. I couldn't help it. You looked... so dissolved, so careful with your words. It was beautiful."

I remember now. It was an afternoon where I brought my journal. I had a page full of things I wanted to say to Bernardo. Things that have accumulated over the years. For a while, I've thought about writing to my brother in prison. Even though he sent back my parent's letters, maybe he wouldn't with mine. Maybe he'd reply. Maybe he'd keep them. I don't know. But there was no harm in trying.

More of the memory ran through my head. "You said you were drawing Legs." Dante almost made it mandatory to bring Legs everywhere with us if we could.

He was still looking away. "I started to but..." He rubbed the back of his neck in contemplation. "I feel like I drew a personal moment without asking you. I'm sorry."

"No it's fine. I love this." I kept thinking of a better compliment but nothing. "Is this really how you see me?" My voice sounded more small and fragile than intended.

Dante's eyes locked back to me. "Yes."

There needed to be better words to describe the rush of thoughts and emotions weaving through me. But maybe then that was a mystery. Moments where words need to flow and other time where they didn't seem to exist. Words that live inside of the human heart. But maybe they were too pure to be put into words. Maybe our lips were just tired of words. The magnetic pull we felt since day 1. The pull that grew over time as we learned about ourselves and how to become men while since being boys. The pull that made me save him without thought. The pull that couldn't quite separate us as I drove through the deserts and Dante living states away. The pull that made me realize we were in love. That pull decided for us.

Dante pulled me close as we guided ourselves onto his bed. The back of my knees collided with the edge of the mattress, and I let myself fall.

There was the consuming feeling again, as if we were drunk off from the air, or even our lips. Our kisses going back and forth while we muttered soft words in between. A mixture of moans and kisses filled his room. Kiss. Kiss. Touch. Touch.

While sitting over me, Dante spoke between our rhythm. "You're so cute looking— mhm-when your face – mhmm- is flushed."

The lightening in the room was pretty dim at the time. I relished the low lighting just cause it hid my transparent arousal. But even now it betrayed me.

"No – mmm- I don't." My lips tingling from his teeth grazing. His fingers attempted to rake through my washed hair, but the hair tie paused him. He took it off before I could. The sensation of his finger softening through my hair to the root made me tremble against him. Not the first time he's played with my hair in such a manner, but I didn't get tired of it. It was oddly comforting.

After rolling around, indecisive over our positions, Dante held me hovering over him as he kissed my collarbone in a slow way that made me groan. Our shirts mangled into his sheets, long forgotten. I steadied my breathing with my eyes shut, secretly begging his hands could venture further beyond my stomach. And the sudden thought didn't make me feel strange nor awkward. Maybe my thoughts were catching up with my body's growth. My heart skipped a beat feeling himself press against my thigh. I didn't want to pull away. Even though I felt as stiff as him now.

"Dante?"

He kept his mouth against my neck, heating me more with his warm breath. "Yes?"

Before I could let my question out, he pulled away from underneath me and grabbed his discarded shirt. Lately, this was our endpoint. Honestly, a terrible endpoint making me plead for a cold shower to sooth away the throbbing pain below. But I didn't want us to suffer right now. I grabbed the shirt before he could put it back on.

He held a question in his face which I simply shook my head. "You—want to keep going?"

"To an extent, yes," I said tossing his shirt over my shoulder.

He quirked an eyebrow and smiled. "You wanna lead the way?"

I was never much for leading. But I summoned the strength to show him what I meant. I moved myself to lean against his pillows and gestured him to follow my position. Dante carefully paralleled over me with his face close to mine. Feeling the ache growing nearer, I pulled his hips against mine and kissed him mid-moan. What seems minutes of us grinding into each other with our lips raw, Dante let out a shaky exhale.

"Shit Ari- I'm losing my mind." His grip on my hair tightened.

Releasing my own vibrations building beneath me, I met his intoxicated eyes. "Can I touch you?"

It went beyond any touches we've shared and his eyes asked the same question. I nodded, feeling melted and entranced from our bodies chemistry. "Touch me Dante."

And like that our hands wandered beyond our thresholds. I quivered feeling his hands wrap around me with his lips still by my ear. "Oh Ari..."

My hands slid pass his waistband, feeling him twitch against my fingers. We let ourselves mold further. Skin to skin. Muscle against muscle. Our whispers became urgent, overwhelmed by the other's touch. The buildup began screaming within me, almost scaring me away.

"Aghhh Dante—I mhh," I mumbled out feeling his hand quicken his pace.

"Please keep going Ari," he begged with his head against mine. His brows furrowed in need, as I paced my hand according to his thrusts. The room quickly filled with us gasping each other's name, arching back as we released at our crest. Time passed regaining ourselves side by side in his now darker room. He passed me a towel and then we laid under his wrinkled sheets.

"Oh wow."

"Wow," I said repeating him.

"Shit."

"...Shit."

We turned our heads seeing ourselves red and disheveled as if we were chasing each other through the desert. I wasn't sure what the appropriate remark to say after sharing such a new intimate moment, but it seemed like it was best to do what felt natural. Which for us was laughing and holding hands. He kissed the spot between my eyes. How could I have ever been afraid of Dante Quintana?


	5. Chapter 5

Monday- Names and Painting

I woke up the next morning to the rising sun's rays chasing the dark away. I groggily looked at my alarm. Two minutes till 6 am. It's funny how my brain just seemed programmed to beat the alarm's wake up call. Stretching out of bed, I played the first song on the radio in a low 3 setting. Richie Valen's Donna filled my space as I shifted around doing my morning routine. It wasn't my favorite song from Richie but I had to admit, it was catchy. Pretty much any lovesick boy could replace the name Donna with any two-syllable name. Legs was already next to the leash by the door waiting for my descent from the second floor. The morning sky had a foggy look to it as Legs and I made our morning run. There were some mornings I'd skip the run but I couldn't disappoint Legs. After a good 15 minutes, I came back to find my mother on the phone while she organized her teacher planner.

I poured myself some coffee in the kitchen as Legs drank her water. The coffee was the right amount of bitter and sweet. I heard her walk up behind me.

"That was Soledad on the phone."

"Did they arrive okay?'

"Yes, they said they found Dante waiting up at night for them."

That made me smile. "He missed them more than he lets on."

My mother poured herself a cup. She was dressed cleanly in a blouse and long skirt that made her look like an elegant and respectable teacher."Your father invited them over for a barbeque this Friday night."

"Really?"

"He's happy about the patio's turn out. Plus we've been meaning to hang out together."

"That sounds nice."

"You boys are welcomed to join us."

"I'm sure we'll make an appearance." She smiled and brushed my hair.

After hours going by at school, I found myself on Dante's front porch knocking on his brightly colored door. He opened it wearing a thin shirt that looked over washed from painting projects. There was some fresh paint on it. The force of his hello kiss almost made me fall back, but thankfully I steadied myself to kiss him back.

"Hello to you too."

"Dante?" Mr. Quintana's voice rang out from behind him.

"Is this a bad time?"

"Of course not." He led me in shutting the door. "My parents are always thrilled by your visits."

"I came with a welcome back gift." It was a dish my mother wanted me to bring over when she heard I was coming over.

"Nice." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I was being reprimanded by my dad."

"Oh, I can leave." He shook his head grabbing my hand.

"Please don't. He'll probably forget about it when he sees you."

"Forget about what?" Before I could get an answer, Dante led me to Sam's office which had filing boxes spread out on his desk. Sam was sitting in his desk chair when he spotted me.

"Hey, Ari!" He walked over to greet me with that big smile of his. He called out to the next room."Soledad, guess who's here!"

And with that came in Dante's mom looking more radiant than usual. Her stomach was showing more growth than before. She had a bright and young look to her as I kissed her cheek. If I didn't know any better, the pregnancy had only accentuated her natural look.

"I'm glad you both made it back alright." I remembered the bag I had in my hand. "My mom wanted me to bring you this. Made it herself."

"Oh! Arroz con leche. That's so sweet of her. Thank you, Ari."

After we exchanged for another few minutes, she excused herself to finish unpacking, leaving Sam, Dante, and I in the office.

Dante finally spoke between us. "I was trying to pick out the perfect color for the baby's room. Maybe you can help me and my Dad decide."

"Oh I don't think-"

Sam turned his attention back to Dante. "Don't think you can weasel your way out of this discussion young man."

This only earned an exasperated look on Dante's face as he plopped into his dad's chair sideways, letting his head suspended in the air.

"But Dad, it wasn't a big deal. You're making it sound like I got into some big trouble."

"It was big enough for the school to call me about a warning you received."

"A warning isn't really anything at that dumb school," mumbled Dante.

"The warning read that you talked back to Mr. Muller in class." He placed his hands on his hip looking at Dante. I felt strange and out of place hearing this conversation, but my feet felt glued to the floor, trying to decide if I should excuse myself. I recognized the teacher's name. Dante has expressed numerous times his dislike towards his theology teacher.

"So, you're gonna believe an oversimplified, biased explanation from the teacher?"

"There's that smart mouth of yours."

"You always told me the importance of the power of language."

"There's a difference and you know that Dante, "he replied back more seriously.

Dante took a deep breathe collecting his next words to throw back. I knew the look. It was the 'debating mode' face. It was a face that looked fearless. Ready for any challenge. He steadied his voice in a matter of fact way.

"Mr. Muller just felt embarrassed that I corrected him and challenged his facts in class. That's it. I wasn't being rude or a smart aleck. The guy actually tried to sweep under the rug some of the fucked up things about the history of Christianity."

Sam quirked an eyebrow, looking straight at Dante's undeterred eyes. I guess Dante felt confident that his mom was out of earshot.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, I was merely being insightful enough to bring up key points in his lesson since he wants to ignore them and confine me in a bubble of the school's faith teachings."

I looked back at Sam. He studied Dante's argument and shook his head. Then a soft smile crept up on his face. I think he was kinda proud that Dante wasn't one to back down or remain silent when he felt the need to speak up. Maybe that's how he raised Dante to be.

Dante sat up more upright. "Are you mad that I spoke back?"

"No. I believe a classroom is a safe place to have constructive disagreements of ideas between teacher and student.'

Dante smiled in pride.

"However." Sam pulled out a carefully folded piece of paper from his pocket as documented proof and cleared his voice. "Calling your teacher, 'obtuse and narrow-minded' does not help your argument, Dante. You know better."

His definitive, stern voice stopped Dante as he trying to build his case again. Dante simply shook his head in agreement. "True"

"I'll have a word with Mr. Muller. But from now on, come to me if issues occur with your teachers."

"Okay."

Sam walked over to Dante and ruffled his hair and smiled. "What am I gonna do you with you, Dante?"

"You raised me to be an intellectual."

"Indeed." He turned to me and patted my back. "You got your work cut out for you Ari, " gesturing towards Dante.

He decided to show me the progress of the baby's room. The space was completely bare with only paint cans and an arrangement of tools scattered around the floor. The lighting looked redone while the walls looked lifeless in a pale white color. Compared to the rest of the house, it definitely looked out of place.

"Dante decided to make the paint job his project. Maybe you can help us hammer out the details of the design."

"Sure thing." I was pleased to help out in any way.

"Now tell me." He put his hand on my shoulder, looking straight at me. "Is it true Dante actually 'worked' building the backyard deck with your Dad?"

"Why is it so hard to believe that Dad!"

I laughed as they had their father-son exchange. "He actually did a pretty great job. Ask my dad."

"I'm glad you're having such a positive influence on my son."

"Ha ha," Dante dryly said as he shuffled through color palettes.

The whole afternoon was spent debating over shades of blue that Dante wanted to do as the main color. His idea was more involved than I imagined. He expanded to a whole mural design that he had drafted on a blueprint. The design included light blue paint shifting to a darker blue color on the ceiling. Over the dark blue, he would draw stars, nebulas, and moons facing down into the room, making it more like a planetarium. I had to admit, the idea sounded beautiful. Beautiful things always came from Dante.

"It's a big idea, Dante. But I'm not discouraging it though," replied Sam in content.

I looked at Sam. "Maximiliano is gonna have quite the view."

Sam rolled his eyes. "We are not going with Maximiliano," he uttered looking towards Dante.

"It's a good name!"

"Try another name." We started organizing the brushes and paints to begin laying on the base coat. Dante offered me some of his painting clothes since I already got paint on myself. But I didn't mind. Dante continued back and forth with his father over names.

"Since you're so keen on literature names. How about William?"

"William…" Sam looked intrigued by the sound of it.

"William Shakespeare. William Blake. William Faulkner. And it's simple enough not to make kids tease him about it."

"Are you saying you were teased over your name?"

"Sometimes. But I like it now. It's fitting."

"Maybe he or SHE -will like my literature name as well."

"Fine but all I'm saying is William works."

"Alright, it's on the list. Now think of a girl's name."

Dante stepped back to see his progress on his side of the room. The pastel sky blue slowly made the room look more alive. "I haven't considered girl names."

"You really believe it's gonna be a boy," I said.

He turned back to look at me. "Yup." This only earned Sam giving him a look that showed they've talked about this before.

"Ok ok there's a chance it'll be a girl."

"Your mother and I were thinking of Emily as a candidate."

Dante narrowed his eyes puzzling over the name. "Emily as in Emily Dickinson?"

"I was thinking more about another particular poet I enjoy named Emily." There was a gleam in his eyes as he smiled at Dante.

I tried thinking about all the poets I knew but not one of Emily came to mind. But the sudden look of realization filled Dante's face making him drop his brush. "Emily BRONTE?"

All Sam could do was laugh at Dante's reaction. "You like Emily Bronte if I recall."

"Dad, please. First Dante and now Bronte?!" Now I had to join in with Sam's laugh. It did sound pretty absurd.

Sam recollected himself. "Obviously I want the name Emily for the baby, not Bronte."

"My vote is on Bronte."

"Don't encourage him, Ari!"

At some point, Dante's mom had to check on us as the house filled with me and Sam laughing at the thought of naming the baby Bronte as Dante grouched over the idea. After another hour of layering paint on the main walls, Sam called it a day. Dante and I went out to the front porch staring off into the sunset. His hand lingered over mine. Blue paint still clung to my fingers as they intertwined with his.

"I guess I won't mind having a little sister. Either way, I'm going to teach him/her a bunch of stuff. Like how to properly paint and such."

"She's gonna have professional finger paintings."

"For sure. It's just weird. I've been the only child for so long and here my parents tell me 'Hey Dante guess what? A new baby brother or sister!"

"You look excited though."

"I am." He said feeling assured. "I am."

He turned his body towards me, tucking a piece of my loose hair back.

"Let's have a conversation. Boyfriend to boyfriend."

The word boyfriend made me feel warm. "Okay. Start us off."

"How are you feeling about us?"

"The same. I feel great being with you. You know that."

"Yes, but are you content with our … development these past few days?"

I tried my best not to look flustered as I thought about yesterday. Things have definitely developed. This bond between us has only grown, something I've never felt before Dante. Never had I had a best friend before him. Someone who made me talk about things that scared me, things I couldn't understand, things that past Ari would have run away from. Dante made me feel things. He made me feel alive.

"It felt freeing."

He raised a brow. "What did?"

'Yesterday with you. Nothing felt wrong about it, it felt freeing. Things that normally feel scary don't feel that way when we're together."

"It not supposed to feel wrong Ari. These are natural feelings."

"I know. But not always for me. This used to be a weird zone for me."

"Weird?"

"Weird."

"So you said it felt freeing."

"Yes. It just—felt nice Dante. It felt right." The evening breeze started to hit us. "What about you?"

"I've thought about …doing that before. But it can't compare to the real thing. Maybe that's all we need to know. That it felt right." He wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me close. "Hell Ari it felt amazing."

I held him back letting myself rest against him. His mouth was close to my ear. "Can I make a promise to you Ari?"

"Is it a promise you can keep?' I whispered back. I drew patterns lightly against his back.

"If you want me to keep it, then yes."

"What is it?" The light from the sky drained away more and more every passing minute. The crescent moon already in view.

He sighed against my neck. "I promise that you're the only boy I ever, ever want to kiss."

"That's a crazy promise to keep."

"Not for me."

"Is it crazy that I want to promise the same thing?"

He kissed me letting his tongue run over my lips. "It's a good thing you're the best kisser around," he said winking.

Before I could disagree. He stopped me with his lips. "Nope. No arguing with me."

When I felt like it was time for me to head home, we went back inside so I could say my goodbyes to his parents. They were in the kitchen talking about possible names.

Dante leaned against the kitchen entrance. "What about Aldous for a boy name."

Sam paused staring at us. He was standing by the sink in deep thought as Dante's mom sipped tea at the kitchen table. She rolled her eyes as Sam nodded in consideration. I read Brave New World last year, so the name wasn't foreign to me.

"I like the sound of Aldous," she said looking at Sam.

He smiled at us with a father's true pride. "I like it too."

Author note: Merry Christmas to everyone! Felt inspired to post today =)


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